What Used to Be.

I hate the way your eyes bore into mine. The amount of warmth is almost suggestive. Now I wanna possess you. You have to be mine. It can no longer be me and you. From now on, it’s us.

I remember how you shook that apple tree… and picked berries for me from the sidewalk bush. We were so happy then. You made fun of me, called me ’sassy’ and claimed that you knew that I was approaching from a mile away. I giggled slightly. Delirious with the happiness that was filling me. Could this be true? Sunshine, laughter and freshly picked fruits? Well, I was jolted back to the real world with the thought that it was the fall break. Soon, you’ll be back in her arms. And she in yours. As for me, I continue to live with replayed memories and ingenious fantasies of what could have been.

We could have been so happy together. We could have. Life has a funny way of making you doubly sure of the people or rather, person, you can’t have. He stands before you but you cannot embrace him. Well, friends tell me, go for it. Tell him that you like him. But how could I? Even the worse gambler knows in her heart that the chips aren’t enough this time.

To love is a gift but to forget is a blessing.

Goodbye.

Farewells are hard to say, but sometimes they have to be executed.

So G. This is goodbye. For real. Each time I try to convince myself that you do care for me. Even if it is just a tiny morsel, I’d lap it up like a famished kitten in the cold. I savour every drop of affection you shower onto me, no matter how minute or insignificant it is. It has evolved into an obsession. I actively seek out signs, create my own symbols; so much so that I start to live in an artificial world, a world that can be sustained only by me and me alone.

So I ask myself, is this about you or me? Perhaps the answer was apparent from the beginning. It is like an endless game of hopscotch; a game that I cannot expect you to be familiar with, just as I cannot expect you to try and understand me in the slightest bit. To you, I’m an outsider. I don’t understand the way you think and I cannot be expected to understand and accept the flippant way you treat me.

Among friends, I thought that understanding is crucial. As well as reciprocity. You don’t seem to be interested in the slightest bit of reciprocity. I understand. You don’t want to talk to me, communicate with me, or even think about what I am thinking or doing… My heart is hurting like crazy. I burst into tears just now. Burying my head into the blanket, I mashed the soft material into my eyes, willing it to douse all the pain that is flowing out. Amazingly, I felt much better.

I’ve decided to say goodbye to you.

I love you and that is why I have to move away from you. I hope you’re happy.

How Many Rainbows Does It Take For One To Smile.

It snowed today.

I stood outside my dormitory, enjoying the quietness of of snowfall. It’s a gift from heaven; the kind that tries to elicit a smile from the most hardened face. It is successful, most of the time. Kids from the grey house nearby dashed into the cold and started twirling around, arms outstretched. Bit of snow sink into their skin. Cold meets warmth.

Thawing. Thawed.

Laughter ensues. Snow, the most wonderful being today. Stirring in us the desire to appreciate and relax; rousing in us the capacity to wind down and let go. Girls don’t need guys at this point. Men stop thinking about sex, for a while. Everything freezes over.

A frozen pond. Or treading on thin ice as they say. 

I know I’m not. Because I’ve looked down and realized that I’m standing on the tip of a glacier.

10 Signs That He Doesn’t Like You

1. He’s mean to you on several occasions.

-go read wikipedia. you don’t know anything.

2. He doesn’t really care about you

-doesn’t ask about your opinions. at all.

3. He has a girlfriend still.

4. He does not reply emails.

5. He does not reply messages.

6. He does not respond.

7. He cancels something that he arranged to do with you.

8. He thinks that everything you say is stupid.

-teapots are cute? don’t be ridiculous.

9. He doesn’t reply. Period.

1 0. If he liked you, he would have acted.

Courage

It takes courage, lots and lots of it, to tell someone you love him.

-, I have liked you for so so long. Each time we meet, have a meal, hang out…I feel so happy. There’s is an inner radiance spreading over me. Every molecule inside me is bouncing with happiness. I long to  spend just one more second with you. Is that too much to ask?

I know you have a girlfriend. She is amazing. But I really hope that you can at least think of me a little. Can you?

How I learn to be Happy while Stagnant.

Having been watching so much shomuni it’s not even funny. The show is v. funny though.

First Post

I’ve just betrayed blogger. Let’s see where this goes.