Overdue.

I just heard from Y a while back. Just to clue you in, he’s my ex-boyfriend and has been pestering me nonstop for the last six months. Which part of ‘I don’t want to hear from you ever’ did he not understand? Finally, I resorted to my final trick – told him that I am with someone else now.

Accusatory messages came furiously. He asked me who the new guy was and how long I had been with him. Unsurprisingly, I ignored him. He fired me an email again today. Saying that he doesn’t care about my ‘philosophies’ but wants me to return the gift that he’s supposed to pass to his friend. Ok, my bad.

But honestly, no one ever told me breaking up would be such a FUCKING pain. I thought it simply assumed communicating your feelings to that person and parting ways. This feels like the Cold War. He’s stalin-esquely persistent in annoying me.

Seriously, I should have just left him after the first six months. Not that I didn’t try to. I still remember my feeble attempt at breaking up. We were at the coast and I told him it’s over. Tears streamed down his face and he threatened suicide. He wanted to walk into the sea and perish’. What seems to me like complete folly now was interpreted by me as the strength of love then. I thought he loved me so much, he’s willing to die for me. Well, now I know it was a complete stunt to imprison me. I enveloped him in my arms and murmured that I would never leave him. Wiping his tears, I showered kisses upon him. However, I felt a sense of dread too. The courage that I built up evaporated in that half hour. It felt as though I was sinking into quicksand. And he was catalyzing the process by pulling me into it.

Today, I realized what a fool I was to believe him.

Girls, if a guy nine years older than you wants to date you, think about why. Is it because of true love, or is it (more likely) to be because he cannot find girls his age because of certain yet to be uncovered reasons?

My first relationship is a total joke. I was sneaking around with him for THREE whole years. THREE! I pretend that I don’t regret it. But I DO. I FUCKING regret it.